Pietermartizburg, South Africa - In the wake of the 19th FIFA World Cup, officials from the sport giant adidas rushed to defend its controversial Jabulani football, which some observers and players felt behaved too erratically and stupidly in flight, causing ordinary crosses and free kicks to soar out of play like birds flying to freedom, terrible terrible freedom, after a lifetime in cages.
"The World Cup is a very special event," said adidas Director of Football Antonio Zea. "Lots of people tried to ruin it: Rob Green, Luis Suarez, the Dutch midfielders, Africa itself. We just tried to play our part."
Added Zea, "Football is not just a game, it's life. And in life, sometimes things don't go where you think they should go, even when kicked there by highly skilled professionals. We saw no reason why the World Cup shouldn't reflect this reality."
Zea pointed to an incident in the Final, when the Dutch were trying to return the ball to Spanish captain, goalkeeper, and fit-reporter fucker Iker Casillas. "The Dutch player kicked it lazily, Casillas went to collect it, and it bounced ludicrously high and he was forced to concede a corner, which Robin Van Persie was then forced to pass directly back to Casillas. Nothing like that has ever happened in a World Cup. I'm sorry if this makes me proud."
Critics are already wondering what adidas has in store for Brazil 2014, but Zea was tightlipped. "I can't say too much right now. But the ball will be square."
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