Newcastle midfielder Joey Barton, currently suspended by the Championship-bound side, stated his goal to "Achieve all my dreams" by bringing the Magpies back to the Premier League, and finally killing someone.
"I know I can get my career back on track," he said, admitting that he had "lost focus" in the previous year. "It's a new challenge," Barton added, talking about Newcastle's relegation. "My goals are to win back the faith of the manager and fans, help the team back into the Premier League, and finally kill someone."
Despite his best efforts, the 26-year-old Huyton-born midfielder has never successfully killed anyone. He has broken the leg of a pedestrian with his car, stubbed out a lit cigar in a youth player's eye, assaulted former teammate Ousmane Dabo, assaulted a 15-year-old Everton supporter, assaulted two men outside a McDonald's, and tried to cut Liverpool's Xabi Alonso in half, but none of the incidents resulted in death.
"It's like a golfer or tennis player trying to win their first Major championship," Barton said of his ongoing quest to end a human life. "It might be that I'm trying too hard, thinking about it too much. I just need to get out of my own way and let it happen."
